Monday, July 13, 2009

help

i wasn't going to post this...but then i thought, what better way to get help and opinions than through blogging? this is a very serious situation, and as a family we aren't sure what to do...so any help or advise would be greatly appreciated.
we have a family member who is extreamly anorexic. i don't mean just skips a few meals here and there....or is a little on the skinny side....she is 20 years old, 5'6", and only weighs 80 lbs! we have been told that if she doesn't get some serious help she won't make it till christmas. she is seeing a psychologist, and her parents have been looking into a clinic in boise to get her into, but she doesn't want to go. and because she is over 18 it doesn't sound like anyone can make her get help that she doesn't want. i'm not sure if she thinks that she doesn't have a problem, or if this is a slow suicide, or like so many people that i have heard with this problem in the past, if she just likes the "control" that she has over this aspect in her life.
i guess what i'm asking from all of you is any information you may have on some good clinics, or maybe a good specialist, or if you have known anyone with this problem and what helped them. we don't need anymore information on anorexia and the signs and effects...we already know all of that. just some helpful info would be so great.
thank you

4 comments:

Chris & Stephanie said...

I have heard of instances like this, where the child is of legal age and they won't seek help for their eating disorder. So the stories I have heard is that the parents take the girl to court and seek legal guardianship over her because she is not competant enough to make logical descissions herself. Because of the time situation, they should be able expedite this hearing sooner, if they decide to go this route. Good luck. Keep us posted.

Chelsi and Trevor said...

Forgive the crazy long comment :::
The suggestion above is a good one - but it will be expensive and will take some time. It may also actually increase the problem by making her resent her family and feel like her life is even more out of control. One of my dearest friends from grad school struggles significantly with an eating disorder. The week after we graduated her family held an "intervention" that I thought was actually pretty effective. Here entire family, one of her neighbors and me and our two other close friends went to her sister's house. There was a specialist there who organized the whole thing. Have you ever seen A&E's show "Intervention"? It actually is pretty reality-based. Her sister brough K over under other pretenses and then she was confronted by all these people. We were asked to each list one reason why we wanted K to go to a treatment center and one thing we would no longer do to enable her issue if she refused. I said I wanted her to go becuase she was one of the most talented people I know and that if she wouldn't that I couldn't be a part of our weekly lunches (something the 4 of us girls did) anymore where I would pretend not to notice the disorder. My other girlfriends said similair things. Some of her family was really harsh. Her mother said if K did not get help that she would no longer watch her two kids while she was working. It was one of the most awful things I'd ever been through. But in the end after like 3 hours - K agreed to go to a facility in Texas for a month. She is back now and doing really well. They taught her lots of coping strategies - things like having no mirrors bigger than ten inches in her house and no scales. She looks healthy and seems good. I haven't heard of her having anymore problems - but no that I am far away it is harder to really know. I will try to get a hold of K's sister and ask what service they used. In the meantime - doing a quick google search gave the following link with may or may not be useful: http://www.edreferral.com/states/id.html
I think these intervention things are fairly common. I just had a student show up at my office last week with an escort. His family had held an intervention the night before for his substance abuse problem and he needed to fill out paperwork for an incomplete in my course because he was leaving the next morning for a program.
I'm so sorry you have to go through this. I know how awful it is to watch someone you love suffer. Good luck.

Holly said...

I had an AMAZING therapist her name is Janet Allen here in IF, she got me through my eating disorder. Let me know if I can help in any way!

indeazgirl said...

There are two good places here in AZ in a little town called Wickenburg. www.remudaranch.com and www.rosewoodranch.com.
They are about 80 miles from Phoenix.
Good luck...