Friday, November 14, 2008

Square One

It always seems that anytime I feel like I've made any kind of progress with my problems...and I start to feel happy and upbeat about things, I get knocked right back down to square one and I have to start climbing back out of my little hole again. Does this ever happen to anyone else or is it just me?

It starts to get exausting. I feel like I have no more tears left but I still wanna cry. I'm even to the point that getting out of bed and facing the world every day is almost too much to take. I know that I can keep going...and I know that I can keep putting on my "happy face" so that no one knows how I'm really feeling, but these problems are getting the best of me...and chipping away and my usually happy and bubbly personality, and to be right honest with you it's pissing me off.

Sometimes it helps to just get it out...but since I don't feel like I can say it all out loud just yet I'll just type little snippets of my feelings...

Sorry for the little outburst.

5 comments:

Holly said...

Things seem to ALWAYS get worse before they ever get better!!! It will just take time.. And I know you hate waiting. I'm always here for you and you can scream and yell to me. I'll understand. I hope things start to get better soon!

Jeremy and Genevieve said...

isn't that the way life seems to always go? just know it does get better and you can do it!

Chelsi and Trevor said...

I know I have felt this way...but I do honestly believe that things will be ok in the end, and if they aren't ok yet then it must not be the end.

On a more personal note, I think you are amazing Ashley. Ever since we got back in touch I think it is interesting how similar our lives parallel each other's, in the past and today, you have been through some really hard things that I could so easily have gone through as well, I think you know what I mean, I know that I would not have handled things as gracefully as you have or with as much strength. I think you are incredible, your openness and honesty on your blog continues to show me that. Even though you feel like you are back at square one right now, as an outsider looking into your "side of the story," I can see how much you have grown into the amazing person you are...the square one you feel like you are at now is a lot further up the scale than the square one you may have felt like you were at a year ago. I think we all make this same sort of slow progression. But we will get you - thanks for being such a good example.

~The Youngs~ said...

Hi! Thanks for being a good friend. I'm right there with you life can put u down so hard it's so much to take and all you wanna do is cry and cry but the tears eventually stop but u don't want them to. Same for you, if you ever need anyone to talk to let me know. What happend on Kylar's birthday is something I will never forget and something that just breaks my heat. Since that happend my little WILL NOT let me put him down, he has constant nightmare in his sleep and it just shatters me! I can't say much right now but I will say I'm going to creat a new blog that just involves me and Kylar and it will be private, so I will be emailing you in about a week with the new blog website. Again thanks so much I need all the support I can get me and Kylar are gonna have a ruff road ahead of us. veter

Matt and Jenna said...

I was sad to read this!!! I hope things are getting better...I'm so sorry for whatever it is that is effecting you in such a way!!! Keep moving forward and hopefully great things will come your way!