Monday, December 15, 2008

Ready for This?

Only 10 Days till Christmas! I can't believe that it's really that close. Lucky for me I'm pretty much ready for it. This weekend I went out and finished up my shopping (except that I'm getting a little nearvous that one of the gifts I ordered off the internet isn't gonna be here on time), my house is as decorated as it's gonna get (Josh thinks our house looks sad with lights on it...so he won't put any up), we got about 8 inches of snow this weekend, and we have the dates for all of our Christmas get togethers planned out. The sad thing is that this year I'm not as cheerful as a person should be around the holidays. Christmas music and snow and shopping for others usually puts me in a very Christmasy mood....but this year all I can seem to muster up is a fake smile...I hate that what I'm going through bothers me so much...and puts me in such a rotten mood (my poor husband). Oh well...I'll just keep trying...Christmas is a time for miracles right? I'm just glad that I'm ready for the holiday.
I've also been thinking a lot about adoption lately (it always seems to make me feel better)....not just about Seths adoption (although that's the one that comes to my mind first), but adoption in general, and about how many Christmas's are made so special and amazing by those of us (birth mothers and fathers) that love our babies enough to give them a family (yes I realize that makes me sound a little concieted, but what can I say? I'm proud of my decision!). I am so happy that he has a family to spend his life with and a family who can make Christmas (and every day) magical for him (I'm just sorry that it couldn't be me). I have a friend who is hoping to be chosen to have a sweet baby placed into her family and my heart goes out to her. I know how much she wants this...and how aggonizing it must be to just have to wait and wonder. I know she will be an amazing mother. I follow the R House blog very closely (it's one of my favorite blogs)...and I admire Mrs. R for her commitment and love for adoption...I love her adoption stories (even though some are sad). Adoption has just been on my mind lately...and it always feels nice to type out my thoughts...even thought they are random and a little scattered. Sorry about that.

4 comments:

Chelsi and Trevor said...

Ashley, I think you are amazing...and if you can let yourself, I hope you will have a holiday that is as amazing as you are.

The Eve's said...

Hello Ashley, I ran across your blog and I have to say I love reading it!! You are an amazing person and I admire you for all you have been through!! I hope you guys have the best Holidays this season!!

Holly said...

You really are amazing, and no not concieted one bit! I don't know what I would do if it weren't for beautiful Birth Mom's just like you! You are right! :) I too love the R House Blog. Merry Christmas Ashley!

indeazgirl said...

One of my very best friends is adopted and everyday I thank his birth mom for her decision. Because it brought him into my life.